Sticky: Where to buy and where to find me.
You can buy Postmortem Studios products at:
RPGNOW/Drivethrurpg/Paizo/Yourgamesnow/E23
Lulu (hardcopy)
You can find me at the following locations:
Personal LJ / Twitter/Myspace/Facebook/Tribe /RPGBomb/ Yahoogroup/LinkedIn
We have a hosted forum at UKRoleplayers:
Postmortem Studios Forum
For your money that would get you:
- 64 plastic-coated cards
- A 4-page rules booklet.
- A clear plastic presentation case.
I could:
- Ditch the booklet, knocking down the per-unit cost by $2, leaving the rules on rules cards with a weblink to a downloadable booklet of extra rules.
- Ditch the plastic box and go with a plain white tuck box, but I can't get art on it unless I order 500 units - fat chance. This would save around 20 cents per unit.
- Not bother with the plastic coating - M:TG never bothered, I could up the cardstock GSM to compensate a little, but I don't know how much this would save.
The first time I got any printed I went to my local printer in Andover. This was, needless to say, traumatic. People know me on sight around Andover and surrounds, even if they don't know me personally and the print shop was right near the centre of town and staffed entirely by women. Nevertheless I got the job done by them, though their card quality wasn't that great, very bendy indeed and very pricey. The worst part was being informed that the cards had been guillotined by a lovely little old lady who was almost due for retirement, considering what the cards depict that was severely blush inducing, as was the moment when the rather lovely young lady in the shop started opening the boxes when I went to pick them up, offering to check that they were OK.
Heart stopping.
The local printer wasn't any good for long term printing, the quality wasn't that high and the costs were way too high so I was forced to look elsewhere.
Oh boy, is the printing world full of scam artists. There's a lot of companies in India or China that are professional and handle a lot of card printing for 'The Big Boys' but if you're not printing at least 1,000+ units you can forget it and they often have extremely exacting printing specifications and if you don't/can't meet them, you're boned.
The smaller scale businesses are either run as close knit family firms 'Print porn? Are you out of your sick little mind?' who kindly send you Christian tracts by e-mail after you explain what you want printed or are run by people who are a 'little bit dodgy' in the same way that a rat is a little bit covered in fur*, naming no names that rhyme with 'Ben Shit-Pan'. No fewer than three POD companies I approached and were willing to take on the job went bust practically overnight and it got to the point where I wondered if I had the kiss of death.
Fortunately a friend came to the rescue and it wasn't a printing source I'd ever really considered before, due to the assumed cost and quality issues. I mean, who would think of using FedexKinkos to get their porno card game printed? The quality was as good as I could hope for - outside full on professional printing - and with the dollar as shafted as it was at the time it was cheap as chips. Unfortunately that shop recently 'upgraded' its printers and now can't do accurate duplex or cutting any more. So I'm tossed back out on the street.
There's a distinct feeling of deja vu all over again, going back to the local printer they've now been taken over and have a company policy of 'not doing adult material' with an implied comment of 'you worthless scum, never darken my doorstep again' and the other local printers haven't even deigned to send me a reply. A chinese printer sent me something incomprehensible but which did say they only really took runs of 500 minimum, so that was out.
In between all that I've had offers from three different companies down the years to take Hentacle at least professional, one had it optioned for a year and did nothing, another offered money then dried up and disappeared and the last is still in negotiation but has to be very careful because of their licensed properties, leaving all that in limbo.
The company I'm currently talking to is expensive (see above) but has great - and communicative - customer service. Unlike others who - in mid negotiations before have suddenly stopped communicating. Others have not replied, given abuse or sounded eager and then not gotten back to me again. Here's hoping I've finally found somewhere I can get a deal together and get a new game out there!
Next time I'll save myself some bother and do a game about good, wholesome, honest violence!
*I'm re-reading Neverwhere, you'll forgive the literary indulgence.

Strange things are afoot in the town of Dunbitch on the edge of the Hockamock Swamp. The locals seem a little... strange and more than a little inbred from 'keeping their bloodline pure' and stranger things still have been seen and NOT seen...
Can Sheriff Cooter and BJ get to the bottom of the mystery or will they end up namesakes for the town?
The Dunbitch Horror expands Cthentacle with two new girls and a lot of new cards to take your Lovecraftian naughtiness to the next level.
CAUTION
Adult product, in the sense that it contains boobs, pee-pees and hoo-hoos, albeit not necessarily human ones. Not an adult product in the sense that it requires sophistication or a mature intellect.
Somewhere in the dark, dank, cyclopean (and other long words) depths of the sea, Great Cthulu lies dreaming and, when he wakes up, he's going to have an eon's worth of morning wood to work off. Cue our adventurous heroines who are, futilely, going to try and placate the great tentacled beastie before he destroys the world in sheer, sexual frustration.
Cthentacle is a fast paced card game derived from our other card game Hentacle. Cthentacle has simplified, streamlined rules and is designed to be played more directly against one another, as with the Hentacle supplement, 4/Play.
CAUTION
Cthentacle is a deeply, deeply adult game. I'm not mucking around here, this is depraved filthy comedy that you should feel deeply ashamed about buying. It is not even remotely for minors or anyone under the age of eighteen. Don't say I didn't warn you and don't whinge.
So be ready!
- Mood:
accomplished
I'm just here to give you a heads up on what the plans are for Postmortem Studios in this forthcoming 2009.
- Redesign: Expect this blog/site to get a facelift and redesign in the early part of this year, something a bit more slick and professional and I think I'll be retiring the old Postmortem Studios logo for something a bit more 'chic'.
- Cthentacle: This is my first priority this year, to get Cthentacle out of the door. I have, somewhat controversially, decided to go with the simplified, faster, Vs rules for this iteration of the game.
- All These Worlds: Mongoose's Traveller is going a storm and there's really no point me reinventing the wheel, so this is being revised for a second time and will become a series of expansions and materials for Traveller, most likely released - somewhat - via Mongoose's Flaming Cobra line.
- 100 Series: 100 Conspiracies and 100 Conspirators, 100 Supervillain Plots and 100 Supervillain Lairs will be the next few 100 Series books. I'm also cooking up a similar concept for players, something akin to the old Central Casting 'lifepath' books.
- Neverwhere: When I get time the third edition of this free RPG will be made available. This will also have more 'proper' rules for those who like such things.
- D&D4: I hope to be writing for Axe Initiative and I also hope to be releasing a complete adventure line, piecemeal, for D&D 4th Edition, a 'super campaign' that takes character from starting out to maximum level while also spinning out a complete game world. I also hope to begin work on my world-city setting.
- Gumshoe: Expect a Gumshoe version of @ctiv8 at some point during the year.
- Blood!: If there's time I hope to get Hell on Earth out of the door this year. That's the Renaissance/Enlightenment/Witch Burning era version of Blood!
- Fiction: I WILL complete a book of short-mid length stories this year and self publish, this is my promise to myself.
- Fanbooks: I hope to complete a Fallout fanbook for the Xpress system, again, depending on time.
- Getting Paid: Fingers crossed I get paid for work I've done over the last 2-3 years that I haven't yet been paid for :P
- Other: Agents of Swing (Xpress) and Unnamed Barbarian Fantasy Game (Xpress), The Pretentious Game.
- Someone with knowledge of d20 Modern, RuneQuest and my game, Blood!, willing to do some system conversions/creations for all three systems at about ten dollars a shot.
- A map-maker, preferably using the newer versions of campaign cartographer, willing to do play-mat style grid-work (nothing too fancy required) at about the same payment as above, per map.
- A map maker/illustrator willing to do larger, more freehand maps at about 25-100 per shot, depending on the size and intricacy required. CC maps also acceptable here.
- If anyone wants to release clipart through my established channel, they're welcome to, the profit split is about 50/50.
- I'm also willing to take on, produce and publish games that you'd like to and have no time to put out yourself at a similar profit split (after my costs are recouped.
![[Hentacle 4/Play cover]](http://www.rpgnow.com/images/384/55596.jpg)
Writing these isn't easy and the further on you get the harder it gets as the ideas seem to become more repetitious, even when they're not. Hopefully this will give people a lot of good ideas for one off games, sections of their campaigns or even whole campaigns. Once 100 Dark Places is finished I intend to take a little break to deal with some business stuff outside of the writing, then to whip out my alien invasion comedy game before finally, after several years, moving on to complete All These Worlds a hardish science fiction system based upon the RuneQuest OGL.
Hentacle FourPlay continues apace and I have about half the cards handed in for this, so that should be out soonish. When it does we are also going to experiment with a new POD printer who offers card printing and will be presenting a Hentacle Deluxe hardcopy set, which will include every set for Hentacle in one double-box, everything you need to play. That will be the end of the product cycle for Hentacle for the foreseeable future, but work can then commence on Cthentacle...

!!!WARNING!!!
This game should not be purchased by anyone under the age of 18, though, given that our perverse society has less of a problem with violence than sex, 15 would probably be considered alright, at least in Europe, but then we're all wrong-headed liberal swine who eat babies over here, right?
Yeah, so, anyway, on your own head be it. Don't say you weren't warned.
The cliques, the sneering teachers, the bullying, the pressure to conform... it's more than anyone should have to take, more than they can take and sooner or later, something... something is going to snap.
Your mind.
One wedgie, one swirlie, one spitwad, one insult too many and something primal trips over in your mind. These bastards need to DIE, every last one of them is a waste of perfectly good atoms and they've made your life a living hell these past few years. Time for some payback, time for some REVENGE!
Maybe, maybe they'll actually realise why you went bugf*ck insane, or maybe - and more likely - they'll blame computer games, roleplaying games, card games, music, trenchcoats, a lack of faith or the fact that teachers aren't routinely armed with M60s.
Still, you can hope.
In the zip file you get...
- 96 cards (12 pages) of black and white artwork by Darkzel at 150 dpi.
- An eight page booklet of rules and clarifications with our biggest disclaimer ever!
- The fear and disgust of those who catch you playing the game.
Don't take my word for it! Just read these testimonials from people who haven't even seen or played the game!
"There used to be some interesting quotes here from people who had never even seen the game and who, nonetheless, had made terribly disparaging comments about it. Now, one of these people decided to kick up a stink about their words being used 'for commercial purpose'. (Clearly not because it made them look silly, oh no). You know when a TV show gets pulled off the air, despite having millions of happy viewers, just because two people wrote in and complained because they saw the faint outline of a nipple during a shower scene? Yeah. Like that. Now, personally speaking I find this hilarious. Here's a game, ostensibly about school shootings but more accurately about media hysteria and moral panic and what do we get? Yeah, panic and hysteria. Priceless isn't it? Regardless, you can imagine the sort of things that were said: 'disgusting', 'awful', 'morally reprehensible', you know how it goes. You'll have to make do with this instead now, another victory for 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells'. Still, enjoy the game, it's a good one!"
Be part of a new moral panic, get in on the controversy today and buy Final Straw today!.
YOURGAMESNOW
RPGNOW
DRIVETHRURPG
E23
PAIZO

!!WARNING!!!
Hentacle is an ADULT game, a really, really adult game.
I mean it. We're not just talking a couple of nipples here. This is filth. Disgusting, perverted filth and you should be ashamed to buy it.
Do NOT buy this for your children.
Do NOT play this around kids or, if you print it out, leave it for them to get hold of.*
Do NOT come whining to anyone about how rude and tasteless it is, we know, you bought it and if someone bought it with your credit card you should be more careful and/or your parenting skills are questionable.
Thank you for your attention.
*Unless you like being asked embaressing questions about pee-pees and hoo-hoos.
Hentacle is a fast paced point-scoring card game where 2-4 players compete with each other to be the supreme tentacle monsters, exerting their perversity upon their lovely victims.
Taking its cue from animated Japanese perversity Hentacle is a disgusting and reprehensible product and you should be as ashamed of buying it as I am for creating it.
The Zip file presents the cards at 150 dpi and gives you the following...
An 8 page rules booklet.2 rules cards, one in English, one in Engrish.
6 double-sided victim cards.
- Aimi - The Schoolgirl.
- Chiaki - The Space Policewoman.
- Hisako - The Businesswoman.
- Ichie - The Bunny Girl
- Emiko - The Otaku
- Fukuyo - The Cybergirl
56 action cards.
Desktop wallpaper of four of the girls for your PC.
Reviews & Comments
'Utter filth and depravity. Nice artwork.'
'This game is wrong. So wrong. After posting a link to my game group as a joke I was disturbed that they heckled me into buying. More so that they actually wanted to play it.'
'First off, BELIEVE THE AUTHOR'S WARNINGS! This game is not for the faint of heart! It is hardcore anime tentacle porn, so don't say he (and I) didn't warn you... On the other hand, if you take that warning to be more like the barker's come-on at a peep show, then you are probably the right market for this game.'
'I give it a 10 out of 10 for two reasons: 1. It amused me for more than 5 minutes. Considering my attention span, that's worth an award.
2. It does not depend on only the theme to make it interesting. The game itself is well thought out and plays better than some major card games I've had the misfortune of buying.'
'Wow! Not even in the depths of my sick and twisted mind could I have even thought of such perverse humor! I have been a hentai fan for years....this is so over the top my Japanese friends were stunned!!! The NOT FOR KIDS rules should be enforced at all times!!!'
YOURGAMESNOW
RPGNOW
DRIVETHRURPG
E23
PAIZO

Three's An Orgy is the second supplement for the gooey and nonsensical game, Hentacle.
You will need a copy of Hentacle to play.
This expansion expands the basic game with two new girls and their associated cards but doesn't make any drastic changes or major introductions to the game.
This set was completed with the aid of our new artist, Darkzel, whose style should compliment the previous cards well, while creating a fresh new image for the game.
Enjoy your perversity!
Reviews & Comments
'CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED and then CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED ALL OVER HER CENSORED AND CENSORED PLUS THEN CENSORED ALL IN ALL CENSORED GOOD,
LOTS OF CENSORED FUN!'
'Very nice expansion to Hentacle. Added two very classic characters to the game. Glad to have bought it.'
YOURGAMESNOW
RPGNOW
DRIVETHRURPG
E23
PAIZO

More reprehensible filth.
ADULTS ONLY!
This is an expansion for Hentacle and not a game in its own right.
See Hentacle for more details.
If you like Hentacle you may also like Final Straw, the cardgame of Highschool revenge.
Reviews & Comments
'If you like the original game, this is a must-buy.'
'Messy......Messy messy messy! What can one say? As an adult anime fan for years I am un-offendable or so I thought. My wife thinks this is a scream!'
'Sick. Just flat out sick. And as an expansion to Hentacle, I was left wanting more!'
YOURGAMESNOW
RPGNOW
DRIVETHRURPG
E23
PAIZO
